I’m not a very complicated wife—at least I don’t think so.
Give me some Coldstone ice cream, a few dollars, some time, a good book, and I’m good.
That’s what I did a couple weeks ago. I took some time for myself and started reading a good book on marriage. The book is called Love and Respect.
While it’s important for me to grow in my marriage I also needed some time alone to clear my mind and detox. Sometimes my mind can get so flooded with day to day situations that I forget what’s important. As a result, I become super sensitive and I begin to feel underappreciated by my husband, my kids, and everyone else around me. Then the pity party starts…
For instance at times, when I talk with Dexter about “heavy topics” that we don’t agree on, (like money, the kids, sex, respect, etc.) I become like a pitbull and I don’t back down when I truly believe I’m right.
Sometimes our disagreements can become intense. At times we become angry and stop speaking to one another.
But what good is this mentality if it doesn’t line up with God’s will?
Who really wins in these types of situations?
And what can you do when you feel depleted, overworked, and underappreciated?
1) Recognize that you owe it to yourself, your husband, and your family to spend some time alone so you can relax and rejuvenate. You’ll feel better and you’ll be better equipped to function in your marriage, with your kids, at work, etc.
2) Choose a day to be alone for at least 2 – 24 hours. You may need to plan this days or weeks in advance depending on the complexity of your schedule.
3) Decide on what you want to do, where you want to go, and how you want to spend your time. You could:
- Go to a park
- Sit by the water
- Go to your favorite restaurant
4) Take a good book that will encourage you and help to develop you as a person.
5) Take some paper and a pen to write down your thoughts as you observe and recognize things about yourself – both the good and the bad
6) Consider where you can improve
7) Write these things down, and write some questions both to God and yourself
8) Enjoy your day!
During my quiet day, I realized that regardless of how I feel, my husband deserves my respect even when I don’t agree with him. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but knowing this and applying this Biblical principle to my life is worth experiencing a more peaceful marriage relationship.
As I sat quietly, void of the voices of outside influences, the Holy Spirit convicted me in areas that need fixing – particularly, with my attitude and pride.
Also, I ate some good ice cream and enjoyed some warm weather. That day God also showed me that everything is not my husband’s fault. I just realized I needed some time alone.
What about you? If you had some time to relax and rejuvenate, what would you do?