If so, how does it make you feel?
Who should you turn to when your husband can’t or won’t meet your emotional needs? Another man?
If you opened up to another man, wouldn’t that be considered emotional adultery? It could even become physical adultery if you take it to the next level!
Is it worth the drama and the pain to cheat on your husband?
Or is it best to grow in your relationship with God so you’ll have a Friend who can understand you even when your husband can’t?
As a child who grew up in a traditional church environment, I formed certain misconceptions about God. To me, God was a supreme and Holy Being, but One who was far off and indifferent to my life, my concerns, and my problems, especially if they were small ones. I didn’t know at the time that I could experience a true and loving relationship with God.
Does this sound familiar?
The issue of prayer often came up, especially when I found myself in trouble. People told me I could talk to God about anything. But would you pour your heart out to Someone who seemed to show no concern for you as a person?
Psalm 40:1 says “I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry.” This Scripture became real in my life as I began to grow in my relationship with God. He really answered my prayers, and I’m so grateful that I realized that God was more than a distant Being.
He’s a loving God who cares about me… and even the little things in my life.
As Christians it’s important to know that God truly loves us and that He wants to enjoy fellowship with us on a daily basis.
I say this because our husbands won’t always be there to listen, and the temptation to share with another man can become so strong…
But God constantly waits for you to talk to Him. He wants to hear from you.
You can do this by reading His Word, the Bible to see what it says about Him and what He says about you. I have learned that what I believed growing up and what His Word actually says are two different things. For instance:
1. God is distant.
2. God sends people to hell because they’re sinners.
3. God doesn’t care about you.
God’s Word says:
1. He’s near. (Psalm 46:1)
2. God loves sinners and sent Christ to die for them so they wouldn’t need to go to hell. (John 3:16)
3. We can share our concerns with Him because He cares. (1 Peter 5:7)
With the Bible’s perspective of who God really is, wouldn’t you feel more comfortable opening your heart to Him?
I know I do now that I’ve realized the truth.
Why not take time to communicate with God and get to know Him better?
He longs to hear from you today.
I’m not a very complicated wife—at least I don’t think so.
Give me some Coldstone ice cream, a few dollars, some time, a good book, and I’m good.
That’s what I did a couple weeks ago. I took some time for myself and started reading a good book on marriage. The book is called Love and Respect.
While it’s important for me to grow in my marriage I also needed some time alone to clear my mind and detox. Sometimes my mind can get so flooded with day to day situations that I forget what’s important. As a result, I become super sensitive and I begin to feel underappreciated by my husband, my kids, and everyone else around me. Then the pity party starts…
For instance at times, when I talk with Dexter about “heavy topics” that we don’t agree on, (like money, the kids, sex, respect, etc.) I become like a pitbull and I don’t back down when I truly believe I’m right.
Sometimes our disagreements can become intense. At times we become angry and stop speaking to one another.
But what good is this mentality if it doesn’t line up with God’s will?
Who really wins in these types of situations?
And what can you do when you feel depleted, overworked, and underappreciated?
1) Recognize that you owe it to yourself, your husband, and your family to spend some time alone so you can relax and rejuvenate. You’ll feel better and you’ll be better equipped to function in your marriage, with your kids, at work, etc.
2) Choose a day to be alone for at least 2 – 24 hours. You may need to plan this days or weeks in advance depending on the complexity of your schedule.
3) Decide on what you want to do, where you want to go, and how you want to spend your time. You could:
- Go to a park
- Sit by the water
- Go to your favorite restaurant
4) Take a good book that will encourage you and help to develop you as a person.
5) Take some paper and a pen to write down your thoughts as you observe and recognize things about yourself – both the good and the bad
6) Consider where you can improve
7) Write these things down, and write some questions both to God and yourself
8) Enjoy your day!
During my quiet day, I realized that regardless of how I feel, my husband deserves my respect even when I don’t agree with him. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but knowing this and applying this Biblical principle to my life is worth experiencing a more peaceful marriage relationship.
As I sat quietly, void of the voices of outside influences, the Holy Spirit convicted me in areas that need fixing – particularly, with my attitude and pride.
Also, I ate some good ice cream and enjoyed some warm weather. That day God also showed me that everything is not my husband’s fault. I just realized I needed some time alone.
What about you? If you had some time to relax and rejuvenate, what would you do?
What will it take to save your marriage?
Sometimes the answer is in one word: “Think!” Watch this video to learn more:
Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by your marriage, the kids, and life?
Now, I’m not talking “Separation.” That’s a bit too much – don’t you think?
But I do think it’s important to get away for awhile – maybe for a day or two to rest, relax and rejuvenate. You need time to replenish your heart, mind, body, and soul.
That’s what I did last week. Over the past few weeks Dexter and I had a series of disagreements over everything from balancing marriage and money to the TV show, Scandal.
In each one of our disagreements, I often wondered who was right and who was wrong?
I couldn’t really determine this because it wasn’t about right or wrong, but about our opinions.
In many cases, even my opinions had been off track because I’d been feeling overwhelmed by marriage, the kids, writing, and the overall scheme of life.
Have you ever been there?
For this reason, I felt compelled to take a day off from the norm of my daily routine, so I took a day off and I chose to indulge myself.
Reading, quiet time, my favorite ice cream shop, and some window shopping.
Even in this short period of time, I learned to reconsider my actions toward my husband and see where I could improve in our marriage.
What about you? Are you ready to take some time off so you can rebalance and rethink?
Consider what you can do to reduce your marriage conflict
Set a date and take a day off. Then tell me what you’re going to do to relax and rejuvenate.
Why Christian Women Have Marriage and Communication Problems: Reason #12 Disagreements on How to Raise the Kids