8 Ways a Christian Woman Can Relax and Rejuvenate to Reduce Conflict in Marriage

marriage tips, marriage advice, rest and rejuvenate

Love My Ice Cream!

I’m not a very complicated wife—at least I don’t think so.

Give me some Coldstone ice cream, a few dollars, some time, a good book, and I’m good.

That’s what I did a couple weeks ago. I took some time for myself and started reading a good book on marriage. The book is called Love and Respect.

While it’s important for me to grow in my marriage I also needed some time alone to clear my mind and detox. Sometimes my mind can get so flooded with day to day situations that I forget what’s important. As a result, I become super sensitive and I begin to feel underappreciated by my husband, my kids, and everyone else around me. Then the pity party starts…

For instance at times, when I talk with Dexter about “heavy topics” that we don’t agree on, (like money, the kids, sex, respect, etc.) I become like a pitbull and I don’t back down when I truly believe I’m right.

Sometimes our disagreements can become intense. At times we become angry and stop speaking to one another.

But what good is this mentality if it doesn’t line up with God’s will?

Who really wins in these types of situations?

And what can you do when you feel depleted, overworked, and underappreciated?

1) Recognize that you owe it to yourself, your husband, and your family to spend some time alone so you can relax and rejuvenate. You’ll feel better and you’ll be better equipped to function in your marriage, with your kids, at work, etc.

2) Choose a day to be alone for at least 2 – 24 hours. You may need to plan this days or weeks in advance depending on the complexity of your schedule.

3) Decide on what you want to do, where you want to go, and how you want to spend your time. You could:

  • Go to a park
  • Sit by the water
  • Go to your favorite restaurant

4) Take a good book that will encourage you and help to develop you as a person.

5) Take some paper and a pen to write down your thoughts as you observe and recognize things about yourself – both the good and the bad

6) Consider where you can improve

7) Write these things down, and write some questions both to God and yourself

8) Enjoy your day!

During my quiet day, I realized that regardless of how I feel, my husband deserves my respect even when I don’t agree with him. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but knowing this and applying this Biblical principle to my life is worth experiencing a more peaceful marriage relationship.

As I sat quietly, void of the voices of outside influences, the Holy Spirit convicted me in areas that need fixing – particularly, with my attitude and pride.

Also, I ate some good ice cream and enjoyed some warm weather. That day God also showed me that everything is not my husband’s fault. I just realized I needed some time alone.

What about you? If you had some time to relax and rejuvenate, what would you do? 

Think to Rest and Rejuvenate…And Save Your Marriage!

What will it take to save your marriage?

Sometimes the answer is in one word: “Think!” Watch this video to learn more: 

How to Maintain a Good Marriage Relationship Even When You Feel Overwhelmed by Life

marriage tips, overwhelmed withDo you need time apart from your husband at times?

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by your marriage, the kids, and life?

I do.

Now, I’m not talking “Separation.” That’s a bit too much – don’t you think?

But I do think it’s important to get away for awhile – maybe for a day or two to rest, relax and rejuvenate. You need time to replenish your heart, mind, body, and soul.

That’s what I did last week. Over the past few weeks Dexter and I had a series of disagreements over everything from balancing marriage and money to the TV show, Scandal.

In each one of our disagreements, I often wondered who was right and who was wrong?

I couldn’t really determine this because it wasn’t about right or wrong, but about our opinions.

In many cases, even my opinions had been off track because I’d been feeling overwhelmed by marriage, the kids, writing, and the overall scheme of life.  

Have you ever been there?

For this reason, I felt compelled to take a day off from the norm of my daily routine, so I took a day off and I chose to indulge myself.

With what?

Reading, quiet time, my favorite ice cream shop, and some window shopping.

Even in this short period of time, I learned to reconsider my actions toward my husband and see where I could improve in our marriage.

What about you? Are you ready to take some time off so you can rebalance and rethink?

Consider what you can do to reduce your marriage conflict

Set a date and take a day off. Then tell me what you’re going to do to relax and rejuvenate.

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Scandal – What’s the Real Message Behind it?

Red ShoesAdultery occurs every day. But what happens when it threatens your marriage?

If it were me, I would probably be devastated, and I would probably become like the Incredible Hulk!  (You won’t like me when I’m angry!) LOL.

Truthfully, I don’t know what I would do and none of us really know how we would handle a crisis in our marriage until it hits.

But my question to you is: Do you support adultery?

My guess is “No.”

Well let me ask this question another way, Do you enjoy the show, Scandal? Who are you rooting for?

The other woman or the President’s wife?

If you watch this show, I’m not judging you or trying to get into your business, but when you watch it, what kind of message does it send?

If you are rooting for the other woman, would you be rooting for the other woman if your marriage was hit with adultery?

As a Christian woman, I question if we should engage in these types of shows because remember, what we watch, listen to, and read becomes who we are. And it could ultimately affect how you view your marriage.

I encourage you to weigh the pros and the cons when watching certain TV shows and movies like Scandal.

Ask yourself, “Is this what I want my life to look like?” If not, is this something you should engage in or could you substitute it with a great book on marriage?

Don’t let the enemy deceive you with entertainment. Because if he deceives you with that, he will tap into other areas of your life that can cause a domino effect in your marriage. And he’ll laugh because he will know that it all started with an “innocent” TV show about a woman and her married boyfriend!

Marriage and Communication Series: #9 Unforgiveness

Why Christian Women Have Marriage and Communication Problems: 

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Marriage and Communication: Your Husband’s Love Language – #8

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8. Not Recognizing Your Husband’s Love Language

For More Information On the Five Love Languages, Click Here