I say this because if you don’t know yourself, your temperament your strengths, and your weaknesses, you will put a lot of unnecessary pressure on your husband to fill a void that only God can fill.
I know because I did for many years.
As a youth, I was abused, rejected, and mistreated by many male peers who I thought loved or at least cared for me. Because of this, I struggled with insecurity, anger, and bitterness towards men for a long time. So by the time I got married, I kept looking for my husband Dexter to be everything to me and compensate for what others did to me in my past. Then when he didn’t do things the way I thought he should, I became angry with him.
All of this anger hindered me from really understanding how to receive love. Does this in any way sound like you?
Well, fast forward a few years into my marriage, and after spending time in prayer, fasting, and worship, I realized that it wasn’t just one person or one reason why I was so offended and angry with men. It was years and years of unresolved hurt and betrayal that I pushed to the back of my mind. No amount of education, no husband, and nothing else could heal me from the hurt. Only Jesus.
Well, after years of being in the company of the ultimate Counselor, (Jesus Christ), He showed me in time, that I had to receive His love first before I could receive my husband’s love in the proper way.
Jesus showed me how to receive His love with no strings attached.
With this being said, I eventually read a book called, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It was a great book and it showed me how I received love. My love language is physical touch. I feel loved when my husband holds me and kisses me. It helps me to feel safe. It took a little time for me to recognize this, but I realize now that I can receive love from God, from my husband, and others the proper way without any form of distrust.
What about you? Tell me your love language.